Bang
by StyleCreekBunnyCrenny
Summary: Tweek ends his life with the pull of a trigger and leaves Craig a letter. Craig reads the letter and makes a big decision about his own life. *Rated M for Death, Language, Mature Themes* Disclaimer: I don't own any South Park characters, Enjoy! ;( :)


****I don't know, I was just in a sad story mood, Enjoy and please Review ;(** **

**^^Disclaimer: I don't own any South Park characters^^**

The funeral was awful. It was just a cold church full of people pretending to give a shit about you, Tweek Tweak. But the worst part of it, was walking up to your open casket, and seeing the sadness in your lifeless face, the sadness you probably were feeling before pulling the trigger, before ending your life.

You were acting so fucking weird, too. I should have noticed that something was wrong. Like right before I left for work that day, you hugged and kissed me tighter and harder than you usually ever did, and you were talking to me like you'd never see me again, which you didn't.

I turned the ignition in my car, and I just drove away, leaving you. I could feel it; I could feel that something was _so_ wrong. I fucking knew it in my heart, that deep sinking feeling in my core, but I pushed it away, and let you die.

When I got home, I felt like I hadn't seen you, my love, in years, so I ran inside, waiting to feel your warmth wrapped around me, but it never did. Something had plagued the house, something evil.

_***Bang***_

I darted up the stairs and kicked open our bedroom door.

Red, the first thing I saw was red. Your still warm blood was soaking into the hardwood floors staining them forever with your soul. I collapsed into the pool and carried you in my arms, thinking you were still there, still with me. I shrieked and cried into the fleece of your sweater before calling an ambulance.

They came and took you away in a flash, while I stood in your absence, covered in your blood. The shock was too overwhelming. It was almost like it was too much for my brain to handle and my mind had gone into a malfunctioning overdrive. So, I just showered and curled up in a ball on your side of our bed, breathing in your still fresh scent.

After some processing, I decided to clean the floors and try to wipe away the tragedy that had afflicted our once loving home. That's when I saw it, the letter. That Goddamn fucking letter you wrote to me. The last thing you wrote. You poured your heart out onto that paper, for me. You wrote things I wish you could have just told me. But now it's too late… you're fucking gone, forever. I picked it up with trembling hands and read word for word…

_My Dearest Craig,_

_ In any book ever written, in any movie ever made, or in any love song ever sung, there were never any words I could find to describe how much I loved you Craig Tucker. Even now that I am gone, you have been lodged so deep into my heart, that not even death could remove you from me. _

_You are probably wondering what has caused me to resort to such extreme measures, I'm assuming. So, I'll do my best to put my thoughts into words. _

_As a child, I hated myself completely and despised the fact that I was even breathing. I was fifteen years old, and I was ready to die._

_I had no friends or family, and no one to hold me, love me, or save me. I was utterly alone. That is, until I met you, Craig. You were my family. You held me, you loved me, and you saved me. You saved me from the monsters in my head, telling me to die and to hurt myself._

_From the moment I heard your voice I felt a connection to your soul. I can still remember exactly how you looked the day we first met. Your beautiful ocean eyes captured my heart, and your smile erased any and all hate or doubt in my head. When you opened your arms, I stepped into your loving, kind embrace, and I wanted to glue our hearts together, so that our love could never separate._

_You knew exactly what to say to calm me down when my panicking or shaking got out of hand, and whenever you reached out to hold me, I realized that I had found my future and my soul mate. We spoke for hours about every possible subject and never ran out of words to say to each other._

_I could see the intense passion and love in your eyes, but I am fairly certain that it was a reflection of the adoration and longing that I was feeling at the same moment. The world had ceased to exist and there were only the two of us sitting next to each other, holding hands and experiencing emotions that we had never felt before._

_You were my passionate lover, my gentle giant, my best friend, and my rock, but not even the heaviest of rocks could stop my monsters. The medication wasn't working Craig. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't let you spend the rest of your life visiting me in mental institutions, or picking up useless prescriptions from my psychiatrist._

_You didn't deserve seeing me like I was. You didn't deserve to be affected by my crazy. It hurt me even more, knowing what I had put you through. It broke my heart seeing that look in your eyes, both defeat and hope, and the way I stared back at you, just broken._

_I wanted to tell you about everything, but I didn't, because I couldn't stand for you to have that look on your face all the time. I just needed you to look at me and think that was normal. I just really needed that from you before I left. _

_Slowly, the monsters and voices were taking over me again. My meds were increased, and although the monsters quieted down, the pills were turning me into a monster myself. They were twisting and pushing at my soul, leaving me an emotionless Tweek-shaped shell. _

_As time went by, things just got worse. I started not being able to concentrate on television because I couldn't watch the screen and listen to what is being said at the same time. I couldn't seem to take in two things like this at the same time, especially when one of them means watching and the other means listening. _

_It got to the point where I never had a single moment in which I did not hear them, the monsters. They accompanied me everywhere and all of the time; they continued to taunt even when I was in conversation with other people. It was terrible, and it was a thousand times more terrible, sitting there, watching you struggle to understand what I was going through and trying to help._

_You were the only one who stood by all of my crazy, and loved me through it, too. You didn't say it a lot though, but that's because you never had to. I could feel how much you loved me every time you looked at me, laughed with me, or even cried on me. This is why Craig, this is why I left. You probably don't understand now, but trust me, it's for the better. _

_Who said death had to be this morbid? If you're crying my love, please, stop. What if my death is a glorious celebration? Could you celebrate it for me? Could you dance and sing my favorite songs around my soulless body?_

_Again, please don't cry. Don't mourn. Don't grieve. I am happy now. Happy. Truly happy, because I know you'll eventually be happy. Believe this. I'm looking down upon you Craig. You were the one person who loved me in life, and Craig, my dearest, you will be the one person who loved me in death, too. Ok my love, I'm going to sleep for a little while now… I'm sorry, I loved you…_

_Your Crazy Lover,_

_Tweek Tweak_

Why. That's all I could say after I read the letter: Why? I loved your crazy, I loved going with you to your doctor's appointments, I loved holding you, I loved **loving** you Tweek.

Now, I sit on our bed wondering,_ when can I see you again?_ Now. That's when. Tweek, I love you. This note is not addressed to any one in particular, just so that who ever finds it, knows I'm with you, Tweek.

Forgive me God...

-Craig Tucker

_***Bang***_


End file.
